From Spinkler Splashes
When I was a teenager, I didn’t fit in. I was home-schooled which, at the time, was automatically meant I was the weird one. I had very few friends and the ones I did have were fleeting. Either that, or I’d be left out of hang outs or parties.
I always felt like I was alone in feeling this way. I was the only home-scooled kid in my neighborhood. I spent a lot of time with a pencil and paper because it was all I really had.
2006 rolls around and I hear my first Taylor Swift song on the radio, Teardrops on My Guitar. At the time, I had a HUGE crush on this boy. It became one of my favorite songs.
Then, 2008 came around and Love Story was released.
Then, I was hooked. I became a Swiftie and have been one ever since. The music video, specifically, became the staple for my novel, Beyond My Words.
Find it and my other novels Here>>The Love Stories
I’ve been a Swiftie since 2006, but Love Story was what solidified her in my mind as the musician I look up to the most. Her writing skills never cease to amaze me.
She was the first person to make me feel like I wasn’t alone in the world and that someone understood what I was going through.
But no other song demonstrates this idea more than the song from her Midnights album, You’re on Your Own, Kid.
Something Different Bloomed
I spent most of my time writing in my room. My characters became my most loyal friends. I knew that, no matter what happened in real life, I could make it through it because I could write about it in my room, just like Taylor.
I spent every night writing in my room and I loved everything about it. I dreamed of one day being a famous author. People knowing my characters and loving them like I did. I dreamed of a movie being made of my story. I worked and honed the skill and nothing brought me more joy to create something from nothing.
I attended every teen writing conference I possibly could where I’d meet many friends. But, with that, came competition. (At least, what I viewed as such at the time.) Writers who were younger than me winning awards, catching the eye of literary agents, stuff like that. Then, I’d read my writing in workshops and I’d get weird looks. I write romance in a crowd of adventure writers, sci-fi and high fantasy fans. I stood out in a way that I never really liked.
Again, feeling alienated from my peers. I was the weird one again.
My Dreams Aren’t Rare
Nothing is more humbling than walking into a room of professional, adult authors and aspiring authors as a freshly graduated eighteen-year-old. You’re suddenly surrounded by people who tell you how hard it is. How there’s millions out there just like you and you’re essentially not special.
This was no more apparent than at a writing conference I attended at eighteen.
I thought I was a good writer and on my way to becoming a best-selling author someday. Then, I attended the “party of better bodies,” just to find out that the dream I’d been chasing since I was an eleven-year-old girl wasn’t rare. Millions of others had the exact same dream and the vast majority of them were bitter about it.
They’d be the first to tell you that being a published author sucks and to “not quit your day job.”
That was devastating to me for a while.
I spent a lot of time feeling scared to publish my first novel because of the negative outlook of the other authors I knew.
Authors who think they have it all figured out, ones who are too scared to write, but have a dream, gatekeeping authors who have one way to be successful and if you don’t follow their superior guidance, you’re screwed. You’ll fail and never make it.
I’ve discovered something, though.
You Can Face This
Every writer is different.
Every story is different. You’re not alone in your dreams. But you’re the only one who can make them come true.
These revelations are not negative. Taylor describes situations that could be taken as negative like bridges burned being turned into pages turned, meaning we progress. People and situations come and go in our lives, for better or worse. But if you’ve learned something from your trials and negative experiences, you’ve won.
Your hardships in life don’t have to bring you down. Just because there might be someone who you see as having a “better body” or being more popular or talented, doesn’t mean you’re not good enough.
I’ve spent more than half of my life pouring my blood, sweat, and tears into my stories because I knew that if I believed in them and believed that there’s something in them that can touch someone else’s lives the way Taylor’s words and songs and lifestyle has touched mine, I’d make it. There have been times where I’ve been the only one who truly believed I could be something spectacular. Though I’m still pretty far from those big dreams of traveling the world on book tours and having movies made of my stories and having people line up to have a copy of my novel signed, I’m willing to take the moment and taste it because I don’t have a reason to be afraid.
You’re on your own, Kid.
That is not a negative. It’s an encouragement that we can make it on our own sometimes. Sometimes, you need to rely on others. But don’t be afraid to make friendship bracelets and be open and loving and let others in. Sometimes you’re going to be the only one who believes in your dreams. But sometimes, you’ve got to believe that there are good people out there and they come and go. And that’s okay because everything you lose is a step you take.
You don’t have to be afraid to take the leap and be Fearless.
Love,
Chandler R. Williamson
The Author Mommy 