Relationships are among the most complex things we will ever manage in our life. We may have great relations with a person, we might have very difficult relations, or even barely any at all with others. I’ve learned through recent years that those relations can change quickly. Some great relationships we never thought would change can come to a sudden end or turn for the worse. Wherever you feel you are in a relationship I have found that the best thing to create, strengthen, or repair our relationships is service.
When we think of service we typically think of doing service for the person we are in a relationship with. This first thought, however, is about how we can create or strengthen our relationships from doing service with individuals.
I was in college in a small group communications class taught by someone I look up to, Brent Warnock. He was a very charismatic individual and very intelligent and wise. He was one of those people that could make you feel valued; he could teach without giving a lesson. One particular project we were required to do as a class was to form a group and perform some form of service.
My group could not have had less in common if we had set out with that goal. We struggled to have a cohesive group or to be able to work on things within the classroom. Eventually it was decided that we would have to do our project on one night at one of our member’s apartment. The activity was making blankets for the hospital and we would spend the whole evening watching shows while we were doing this.
As the night progressed we found ourselves having a lot of fun. We would share stories, pull pranks, and geek out of the shows we were watching while performing service. We had so much fun we wanted to do it again. I remember when it was our last day in class we stayed long past the end because we didn’t want to leave and not have an excuse to talk with each other again. We stayed so long that even the teacher took note. The lesson I learned that day is that service has a way of bringing people together despite our backgrounds. The individual hobbies or interests we had never would have done that.
The world can seem lonely and cold sometimes. We may find ourselves asking if there really is a God, especially when we find ourselves in our own personalized Hell that surely no loving God would have allowed us to be in. In those times, serve. Listen to the laugh of a child you entertained. Look for the smile of a person you gave a compliment. Appreciate the experiences and diversity of the individual you talked to who seemed alone. As you do so it will surprise you how quickly we can turn Hell into Heaven. I admire the words of Joseph Smith, “And if we go to hell, we will turn the devils out of doors and make a heaven of it. Where this people are, there is good society.”
I was in a philosophy class a number of years ago talking about the difference between a philosophers thought that we should not do to others what we would not have them do to us and the “golden rule” that Christ taught. The conclusion was that the philosopher’s thought was superior because an individual may want something done to them want others do not. However, I will argue for the golden rule. The reason being that the golden rule prompts action while the other inaction. Christ wanted us to be actively making the world a better place, one relationship at a time. We can as we focus our life on service with and for others, as He did.
